Fauer Face-Friendly 4K Filter Factory

The idea arrived with the first bottle of Kanzler 2011 Sonoma Coast Pinot Noir and Ahi tuna tempura sashimi at Chinois on Main yesterday. By the time the Shanghai Lobster with curry sauce came with a second bottle of Pinot, Howard Preston had the name: “Fauer Face-Friendly 4K Filter Factory.”

The company was born. Venture capitalists were salivating and circling.

Dr. Hubert Nasse, Senior Scientist of  ZEISS Camera Lenses once said that old lenses often look better in 4K digital than they ever did on old analog film projection. But now you can forget about painstakingly restoring those pesky vintage Kowa, Baltar, Todd-AO and Panchro primes. No need to sand-blast expensive coatings off perfectly good glass.

Instead, our face-friendly filters are perfect for your current inventory of  high quality lenses. Slide one of our ancient glass filters in your mattebox and you’ll hear a chorus of angels.

Fauer Face-Friendly 4K Filter Factory staff are currently scouring the earth and plundering ancient cathedrals in search of vintage glass to degrade and soften any lens.

Fauer Face-Friendly 4K Filters elevate your images to new heights. Using medieval cathedral glass from York Minster (11th century, above), Chartres, St. Ouen, Augsburg and elsewhere, shooting through our filters reveal more things in heaven and earth than ever dreamt of in any screenplay.

Seriously though — take a look at Tiffen’s 4K Diffusion Test Film. The Tiffen GlimmerGlass, Pearlescent, ProMist, Satin, Soft FX, Diffusion, and Smoque filters are definitely 4K Face Friendly and a lot more controllable than 11th century shards of glass.

 

 

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1 Response:

  1. Danys BRUYERE:

    I want to invest!
    I guess the wine was good ;-)

    Hope all is well!

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